If Tobi Were To Get A Tooth Decay
by MiharuTsuki
Summary: What happens if Tobi gets a tooth decay?
1. Intro

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay :::::

Introduction

Name: Natsumi Suzuki

Age: 17

Personality: Kind, caring, doesn't exactly care much about things, doesn't swear, and picks on Hidan a lot.

Looks: Medium length lavender hair, side fringe; dark violet eyes. 169cm tall, athletic figure. Tanned skin.

Likes: Many things. Especially cooking and battles.

Dislikes: Swearing, no food, waking up early in the morning.

Friends: All Akatsuki.

Enemies: None.

Rank: S ranked.

Past: Came from the hidden sea, where she grew up. Left her family after they tried to blackmail her to take an extremely dangerous mission, where she had to kill a lot of innocent people from different villages. They chose only her because she was the heir and the most powerful of the clan. So she joined the Akatsuki afterwards, because they needed a cook, and she was happy to cook for them, and also spar with them as well. So she became one of the most treasured members in the Akatsuki.


	2. Chapter 1

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 1

"AAAAAHHHHH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi shouted those words over and over again, as loud as loud can be.

I groaned.

This was not going to end anytime soon.

It was the early morning, in the Akatsuki hideout, and Tobi was running around screaming.

Nice morning, isn't it?

Anyway, I sat up from my bed, and looked at the clock on the nearby table.

5:12am.

It was 5:12am.

I glared at the clock, then at the door, and got off the bed.

Stumbling off the bed, I reached for the door and opened it.

As I opened it, Tobi went zooming past, Deidara on his trail.

Oh.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" Tobi screamed, running down the hallway.

"WHAT THE HELL, UN? YOU STEAL MY CLAY AND EAT IT! IS THAT NOTHING, UN?" Deidara shouted.

The screaming and shouting went on and on.

I groaned and closed the door, locking it.

Walking over to the closet, I took out a black T-shirt and matching black leggings.

I changed quickly, out the door in less than 3 minutes.

Then I forgot about my hair.

Oops.

I went back inside and walked into the bathroom, picking up my hairbrush on the way.

I brushed my medium length lavender hair, untangling the mess it is now.

Once that was done, I put the hairbrush down, and walked to the door, unlocking it and walking outside.

Tobi and Deidara were still running around, still screaming and shouting the same things.

I sighed.

I walked into the kitchen area, and walked over to the fridge, where I rummaged around the stuff to see what I could eat.

There was basically nothing there.

Nothing.

Well, not exactly nothing, but there was only a few things in there.

I closed the fridge door and looked around.

Sasori walked in casually, he still had his emotionless face on.

Then Hidan walked in, all grumpy and weird.

I think he was swearing, so I'll just replace those words with *pickle*.

"WHAT THE *PICKLE* ARE YOU DOING? YOU WOKE ME UP FROM MY *PICKLE* SLEEP! WHAT THE *PICKLE*! WHAT THE *PICKLE* ARE YOU DOING YOU *PICKLE*? YOU *PICKLE* WOKE ME UP FROM MY *PICKLE* SLEEP!" Hidan screamed.

I think my ears are going to bleed now...too much swear words.

Kakuzu then walked in, all irritated, because of Hidan's swearing.

"Hidan! Shut up! You made me loose count of my money!" Kakuzu complained.

Money...money...money...money...MONEY!

What the hell is with Kakuzu and his *pickle* damn money?

A huge blue man walked in, bags under his eyes.

"What the hell is up with the noise today?" Kisame asked.

Big blue man = Kisame.

He had a huge wrapped up sword behind his back, which he carries around 24/7.

I never got to see what was under the bandages though...I think it was a sword...

No one bothered to answer Kisame's question, so he just walked out, and then he walked back in again.

What the hell.

He rubbed his eye.

"Hey, Natsumi..." Kisame started.

"What?" I asked.

"Make us breakfast since you're already here." He ended, well, more like ordered.

I blinked, and then opened the fridge, revealing to the members what was inside.

Which, as to say, was nothing.

I watched the Akatsuki member's faces as they saw what was inside the fridge.

Then Itachi walked in.

Talk about perfect timing.

"Hey, Itachi! If you want breakfast, look into the fridge!" I said, pointing at the fridge.

Itachi scratched the back of his head, his eyes were closed, but he opened one of them, and it was looking directly to the fridge.

The other Akatsuki's member's faces turned from irritated to huge eyed and mouth hanging open.

"There's...nothing in the...fridge..." Kisame stated, eyes wide, pointing a shaking finger at the fridge.

I nodded happily.

"Now who is going to do the shopping for me?" I asked, putting on a fake smile.

Everyone shook their heads except for Itachi.

I think he wasn't even paying attention.

I closed the fridge door, just before Tobi zoomed into the room and jumped on me.

"NATSUMI-CHAN!" Tobi screamed into my face.

My poor, poor, face...

"What?" I asked.

Tobi hid behind me.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi shouted.

I heard huge stomping steps from Itachi's direction.

I knew it wasn't Itachi, so who else would it be?

A blonde haired girl – oops, sorry, boy – stomped in, with an extremely angry look on his face.

That was Deidara.

Deidara stomped past Itachi, then Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, and then marched in front of me.

He cracked his knuckles.

"Move out of the way, Natsumi, un." Deidara cracked a wicked smile.

"EEEKKK!" Tobi screamed, clutching onto my arms harder.

Excuses, excuses.

"Sorry, Deidara. Tobi is coming with me today to buy some groceries because we have none left." I scratched the back on my head.

Deidara narrowed his eyes at Tobi, then looked at me, with his angelic face on, whenever something like this happens.

He smiled.

I raised my eyebrows.

"What?" I asked.

"Please come back as quickly as possible, un! I would really like to have breakfast soon!" Deidara glared evilly at Tobi before walking off.

I sighed, and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Hey, Itachi." I said.

"Hn." Was what Itachi said.

"Since you're the only sane one here, mind helping me out with the groceries?" I asked.

"Hn." Was Itachi's response.

"I take that as a yes," I turn to Tobi "Get changed. Now. Don't wear your Akatsuki cloak. Or everyone will aim for us."

Tobi nodded and quickly fled the room, running to his own.

I turn, to give the same order to Itachi.

But – noooo – he was already in casual wear.

"Uh..." I started.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI HAS FINISHED BANGING!" Tobi screamed when he got into the room.

My mouth was literally on the ground.

Finished..."banging?"...what the hell did he do?

O_O...

I couldn't say anything...the image of Tobi doing this "banging" was way too horrific for my head, and the bad thing was, was that it was stuck in my head.

I looked at what Tobi was wearing.

He wore a black robe, with a huge bunny rabbit in the middle.

O_O...

Compared to what Itachi and I were wearing, WHAT THE HELL?

Tobi walked over to me, a spring in his step.

"Come on, Natsumi-chan~~! Tobi wants to go to buy groceries!" Tobi whined, grabbing my arm and dragging me over to the door.

"Wait...what about the money...?" I half asked, half mumbled, holding up a weak arm to my room as I was dragged past it.

"I've got it." Itachi said, randomly walking up in front of me, waving a wallet in front of my face.

It didn't look like mine, so I think it was his.

"Ok..." In that second we were already outside.

Tobi had let go of me, letting me walk on my own, instead of getting dragged by him.

I was still on the ground, sitting down.

Itachi went in front of me and put his hand out, offering to help me up.

I took his hand, and he pulled me up.

I brushed myself off.

"Thanks, Itachi." I said gratefully.

My back was hurting a bit, for some unknown strange reason.

Tobi then grabbed my hand, and started skipping to the store.

Itachi followed closely behind.

A few seconds later, we arrived at the village, where we were to buy the groceries.

Yeah, we went to the store.

Not just ANY store.

The CANDY store.

What could possibly happen?


	3. Chapter 2

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay :::::

Chapter 2

Ok, I think I've just underestimated Tobi.

He just about cleaned the whole candy store, leaving nothing behind.

He zoomed about, left, right, down, above.

Everywhere.

Taking candy left right, above, below...to put it simply, he cleaned the whole store.

And guess how much all the candy cost us?

$10,740,148,292.

I'm not even sure how much Itachi had in the wallet that he had, but he actually managed to pay it all!

I was like, OMG.

O.o.

How much money did he even have in the wallet?

Anyway, we left the store with about 1,000,000 bags full of candy.

I sighed.

"TOBI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted.

He looked back at me, with that mask of his.

"What does Natsumi-chan mean?" Tobi asked.

I face palmed.

"Why are you going through the fish shop?" I asked, irritated.

His head was in the water, about to take the fish out with his mouth, just like that.

I mean, who the hell would do that?

I know Hidan might, but what the hell?

I looked at Itachi, and sighed.

He was watching Tobi blankly through his onyx eyes.

I walked over to him.

He glanced at me when I started to walk to him.

"Hey, Itachi. How much money do you even have in that wallet of yours?" I asked.

"It is not mine." Itachi said.

I cocked my head to the right.

"It's not?" I asked.

Itachi nodded.

"It's Kakuzu's." He said.

My eyes went a bit wide.

Like this: O.O.

I knew that Kakuzu loved his money, but, who would even go to the extremes to even get his WALLET without asking him?

I know that he would kill the person who stole his money, and I thought Itachi was the most trustworthy, and didn't steal and all, but...HE DID!

The question was...why?

Itachi seemed to examine me when he said the last sentence he did.

"I did it because I knew that Tobi would be spending heaps of money on sweets. It's not like I haven't been shopping with him before." Itachi said, answering my question.

I turned my head ever so slowly to face him.

Wait...what?

Did he read my mind?

"Wait...did you read my mind?" I asked, about to freak out.

Itachi was silent, then he spoke.

"Yes. I did. I read your mind." He said, smirking slightly when he said it.

Everything was silent as he finished his sentence, even Tobi was.

HE READ MY MIND!

I KNEW IT!

HE READ MY MIND!

He was staring right at me, his eyes staring emotionlessly and blankly at my ones.

I tried to look somewhere else, to avoid his gaze.

"HEY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!" Someone shouted angrily.

I whipped my head over to the sound, and went O.o.

Tobi was getting hit with a fly swatter by the man in charge of the store, for trying to get the fish.

"TOBI'S SORRY!" Tobi screamed, fake tears pouring out of his eyes, sprinting out of the store, and jumping behind us, to hide from the shop owner.

"GRAHHH! IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN IN MY STORE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE DEAD IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!" The shop owner growled.

I blinked a couple of times, before everything sank in.

I clapped my hands together, and gasped.

"Oh! So that's what happened!" I said.

Tobi and Itachi looked at me, their expression puzzled.

Well, more like Tobi.

Itachi was just being Itachi, silent, mute, all that kind of stuff.

"TOBI'S MAD!" Tobi shouted into my ear.

I fell over.

On my face.

Because Tobi shoved me over when he shouted in my ear.

I think I might've eaten a mouthful of dirt or something.

I lifted myself up, and brushed myself off, spitting out the dirt that got into my mouth.

Once I was finished, I glared at Tobi, cracking my knuckles.

"Tobi~! What do you think you are doing?" I said in an awfully sweet voice, through clenched teeth.

"TOBI'S DONE NOTHING! SHOP KEEPER KICK TOBI OUT! TOBI SAD! TOBI CAN'T SEE FISH!" Tobi screamed, more fake tears pouring out.

I swear, Tobi's tears were going to make the whole world into the ocean.

I mean, seriously.

Tobi and his tears, floods the whole world and makes it into an ocean...

I think I see the light...!

I laughed, and grabbed one of the bags Itachi was holding, full of candy.

I shoved it into Tobi's face to stop his tears.

"Here, Tobi. Eat this. It'll be better than fish? Don't you agree?" I asked, smiling.

Wait...I was mad one minute, then I'm happy and smiling the next.

How does that work?

Anyway, Tobi grabbed the bag of candy, and shoved his hand into the bag, taking a handful of candy, which had no wrappers, and inhaled them into his mouth.

Well, into the mask or something.

I don't even know how he ate it.

Tobi started to shove even more candy into his mouth, emptying the whole bag, one after another.

In 5 seconds flat, he was onto his 10th bag.

Itachi and I stood there, watching him eat.

Even people walking by started surrounding Tobi, watching him.

I mean, what is he?

Kirby?

Soon enough, all the candy was gone, eaten by Tobi.

By this time, there was a huge crowd around him.

They were all like, O.o.

I watched Tobi, as he finished the last bag.

He started looking around.

His cheeks – no, mask – was tinted a bit pink.

Then I looked more closely.

His mask was not orange anymore...it was PINK.

I went like this: O.O.

Tobi looked straight at me, and waved his arms around, then charged at me, screaming, "NATSUMI-CHAN~~~~~!"

I looked at Tobi, then at Itachi.

Itachi was slowly walking away.

I wonder why.

Then this thing came up in my head.

Tobi + Candy = Hyperactive idiot on a sugar high.

Uh-oh...

He was still charging at me, ready to turn me into a Tobi food.


	4. Chapter 3

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay :::::

Chapter 3

Oh *pickle*... _(Note: *pickle* = swear word, swear word = *pickle*)_

I felt my life squeezing right out of me, as Tobi clomped onto me, hugging me like how Alex Armstrong would hug Edward Elric. _(Note: Edward Elric & Alex Armstrong are from Full Metal Alchemist)_

Goodbye, world...I think I see the light~!

Wait...no, just no.

I don't see the light.

I see Tobi destroying houses, stores, hugging people and maybe crushing some of their organs, but oh well.

It's not my fault that Tobi's on a high right now...

Wait, it is.

*pickle*...

I gave him the candy...ohhhhh crap.

Tobi randomly then appeared right in front of me, giving me another huge big bear hug.

"MUMMY!" I screamed.

No!

I need a saviour!

"NATSUMI-CHAN~~~~! I LOVE YOU~~~~!" Tobi screamed happily.

His voice was all high, like, high pitched.

He could make people's ears burrrrn.

Like mine is RIGHT NOW.

I swear my ears are pouring blood right now.

"Tobi. Let go of Natsumi." Itachi suddenly said.

He appeared next to me, taking Tobi off by the back of his cloak, holding him in mid air, like a toy.

I sighed in relief, coughing a bit.

Then Tobi started to scream and thrash.

Oh, *pickle*...

I swear, this is the worst day of my life...D:.

"NOOO! LET GO OF TOBI, ITACHI-KUN!" Tobi screamed, over and over, with his high pitched voice.

"TOBI! SHUT THE *PICKLING* *PICKLE* UP!" I yelled, grabbing Tobi by the collar of his cloak.

Tobi yelped, then started crying, more tears escaping his eyes.

Oh crap!

I let go of Tobi, then stumbled backwards, and nearly fainted.

Oh crap!

I did a bad deed!

"HELLO NATSUMI-CHAN~~~~! TOBI WANTS TOTAKE YOU HOME!" Tobi screamed in my face.

I stood, frozen.

Like a statue, you could say.

..."Tobi wants to take you home!"...what's that supposed to mean...?

I squeaked, when I felt my weight lift up from the floor.

It was Itachi.

"Oh. Hi, Itachi. What's up?" I asked, giving him a smile.

Then I noticed we were around an area full of rubble.

"What's this?" I asked, looking around, trying to find a speck of existence.

"Tobi destroyed the whole place." Itachi replied, placing me down.

There was no rubble where I stood.

"How did he destroy this place so damn fast?" I asked, scratching the back of my head.

"You were in a daze; after Tobi said to take you home...then he started to destroy the place because you wouldn't respond." Itachi explained.

I nodded in understanding.

"Ooohh. Where's Kisame when you need him?" I continued "We really need to chop off some of Tobi's legs and arms - limbs...to stop his crazy rampage."

Itachi nodded slightly.

"THAT'S WHY I'M HERE!" A familiar voice boomed.

I froze, ever so slowly, turning my head around; meeting the eyes of the underwater blue fish shark man, Kisame.


	5. Chapter 4

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay :::::

Chapter 4

"Kisame?" I exclaimed "What the hell are you doing here?"

Kisame laughed his sharkie laugh.

"I'm here because Itachi demanded me to come here! I was following you guys the whole time!" He said; a huge smile plastered his face.

"You...followed...us?" I squeaked.

Gosh, he could be huge and tall and all, but FOLLOWING?

It felt like he wasn't even there in the first place!

Is he like, a shadow of some sort or something?

Either that or he's a PRO STALKER!

OMG!

OMG!

WE'RE GONNA DIE!

*PICKLE!*

Either it's that, or I'm going mentally insane.

Anyhow, Kisame broke me out of my little daydream daze sort of thing.

"Yeah, I followed you!" Kisame said happily.

And he's HAPPY about it?

I pointed a shaky finger at Itachi.

"Y...you knew the whole time?" I accused.

He nodded slightly.

"Of course! Duh! He was the one that told me to come in the first place! Are you stupid or what?" Kisame held onto his sword handle "Now, let's chop some Tobi!"

"NATSUMI-CHAN~~~~~!" Tobi screamed, swinging himself onto me.

"Tobi!" I exclaimed, pushing him off.

But apparently, I failed, because he clung on like super glue to some other item.

Like, permanently stuck together.

Oh, *pickle*...

"Tobi! Get off!" I complained, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.

"TOBI CAN'T~~~!" Tobi wailed.

"What?" I paused.

He can't?

"TOBI PUT SOME SUPER GLUE ON HIS HANDS AND WHEN I WENT ONTO NATSUMI-CHAN, I COULDN'T GET OFF!" Tobi yelled.

Everything was silent, and then a ball of tumbleweed bounced past.

I cracked an angry smile, and clenched my fist.

"Get. Off. Me. Right. Now. Tobi. Or. You. Are. Going. To. Die. Right. Here. Right. Now." I said through gritted teeth.

Gosh, I was so angry right now.

"Hey, hey, hey! That's my job, isn't it?" Another familiar voice said.

I whipped around, and came face to face with Hidan.

"HIDAN? What the *pickle* hell are you doing here?" I exclaimed.

This is extremely weird.

First Kisame, now Hidan.

Who next?

Hidan stepped around me, and took the neck of Tobi's cloak, and pulled.

Hidan started to walk away, Tobi still on his trail.

"Eep!" I squeaked, as I felt myself moving as well.

*PICKLE!*

Since Tobi had his arms around me, and Hidan was dragging him away, I had to be dragged away also.

Kisame started laughing at my misfortune, and Itachi stayed silent.

"DAMMIT, HIDAN! STOP PULLING TOBI!" I shouted, aggravated.

"Sorry, *pickle*, but no. Now stop whinging and *pickling* shut up." Hidan said.

I growled.

I looked behind, and saw that Kisame was STILL laughing, and Itachi was still silent.

They were following us, as Hidan dragged us somewhere.

**10 hours later**, I groaned.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed.

"WHAT IS IT, NATSUMI-CHAN~~~~?" Tobi shouted.

It seemed that Tobi wasn't on a high anymore, but he was still a little pink.

But he seemed fine.

Well, that's all I think.

"But...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" I practically screamed.

I mean, seriously, first, it started with only a few people, me, Itachi and Tobi...

NOW THERE'S THE WHOLE *PICKLING* AKATSUKI INVOLVED?

Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara, Sasori, Konan, Pain, Zetsu...BUT WHY THE HELL ARE THEY EVEN HERE?

A normal random shopping trip into a random...random group of people randomly wandering the streets or something!

But wait, we aren't on the streets, we are in a cave for some random reason.

Tobi was still hugging me, and all the Akatsuki members were all seated down, resting from their long trip of walk.

Hidan was busy doing his ritual of some sort, so I don't give a damn about him.

All I wanted to know was why the whole entire Akatsuki were here.

I mean, shopping trip turned ballistic?

Well, no *pickle* Sherlock.

Pain stood up, and everyone's attention was on him.

"We're moving Akatsuki bases...to this cave." Pain stated.

I blinked, then frowned.

"What...? You only came here to move bases?" I exclaimed.

Pain nodded.

"The other base was way too crowded. Now, everyone of you, grab some furniture at the back and be quick! Chop chop!" Pain clapped his hands at the last part.

..."Chop chop?" When did Pain every start to say those kind of words anyway?


	6. Chapter 5

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay :::::

Chapter 5

Ok, so we left off when Pain said, "Chop chop."

"When did you start saying 'chop chop?'" I asked Pain, with a strange expression.

"Since now." Pain replied.

Kind of a blunt answer, don't you think so?

Pain started to walk away, commanding the other Akatsuki members.

"Since when did you become a judge on MasterChef?" I snickered.

"I heard that!" Pain said; a tint of anger in his voice.

I laughed.

"Haha, so you really ARE a judge on MasterChef!" I joked.

Pain was in front of me in an instant, one of those long black chakra receivers holding up my chin.

I held my hands up, smiling nervously.

Don't kill me!

I laughed nervously.

"Ahaha...I was joking! Honestly! I really was!" I said, taking a teeny step back.

Apparently, then wall was in the way, so I hit the wall, and couldn't go back.

"You should be." Pain said, taking the chakra stick back and going back into the shadows.

Wait – when did he go back into the shadows?

Unless...HE'S A *PICKLING* GHOST!

HE'D GOING TO EAT MY SOUL!

Not.

I sighed, and walked over to Kakuzu, who was holding the couch with Hidan's help.

They were carrying the couch to some other place in the cave.

I randomly plopped myself onto the couch, my weigh weighing it down more as Hidan and Kakuzu carried it.

Hidan, OF COURSE, noticed the new weight being shifted onto the couch, and immediately looked over at me, glaring.

"HEY, *PICKLE!* GET OFF THE *PICKLING* COUHC, YOU *PICKLING* *PICKLE* *PICKLE* *PICKLE!*" Hidan shouted at me.

I smiled kindly back at him.

"I'm sorry. But what did you say?" I innocently asked.

He growled.

"I SAID GET OFF THE *PICKLING* BLOODY COUCH, YOU *PICKLE!*" He shouted.

"I'm sorry, but what did you call me?" I asked, pretending I didn't hear him.

Hidan glowered at me, his veins popping in anger.

"YOU *PICKLING* *PICKLE!* IF YOU DON'T GET OFF THIS *PICKLING* COUCH, I'LL—" Hidan got cut off.

"Hidan. Shut up and carry the couch." Pain ordered.

Hidan turned fast to face Pain.

I suppressed a giggle.

"WHAT ARE YOU TO SAY, YOU LIFELESS LEADER? YOU CAN'T *PICKLING* TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Hidan shouted.

"Yes. I. Can." Pain threatened, eyes gleaming with anger.

Hidan glared at him, then cursed under his breath, and continued carrying the couch.

Hidan looked over his shoulder at me, his eyes full of annoyance, irritation and anger.

"You got lucky this time, you *pickle*..." Hidan sinisterly said.

I smiled at him.

"Thank you."

"THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT!" Hidan yelled; annoyance in his voice.

I blinked at him, and randomly took out a secretly hid magazine on the couch, and started reading it.

It wasn't mine, but oh well.

I think it was like, Hidan's, because the magazine cover said, 'To be a Jashinist, you will have to rape a lady.'

I was all like, O.O...

I mean, WTF!

WHY THE *PICKLING* HELL DOES HIDAN EVEN HAVE THIS STUPID MAGAZINE?

I slowly machine like turn my head to face Hidan.

"H...Hidan...why the hell...DO YOU HAVE THIS STUPID MAGAZINE?" I shouted, throwing the magazine down onto the ground.

Unfortunately, Hidan whipped around, and glared daggers at me, then he noticed the magazine on the ground.

"AH! MY *PICKLING* MAGAZINE! GIVE IT BACK!" Hidan shouted.

I crossed my arms and glared at the magazine.

"...why the hell would you hide something like that in the couch?" I half asked half pouted.

That shut Hidan up for a while.

I was seriously laughing like hell on the inside, it was so funny.

Then, Kakuzu and Hidan finally put down the couch, making me jump.

I watched as Hidan put the couch down, then he quickly rushed over to the place I threw his magazine, and picked it up, shoving it somewhere in his clothes.

Kakuzu and I were like, O.o...

"Does he act like this every time somebody sees something he doesn't want them to see?" I asked Kakuzu.

He slowly nodded.

"He's too much of a Jashinist to hide his Jashinist stuff..." Kakuzu answered.

"I'll take that as a yes." I said.

"" Tobi screamed.

I turned my head around slowly, ear drums bleeding.

Tobi lay sitting on the ground, crying, for no apparent reason, to which I think.

I walked over to him, covering my ears as I proceeded.

Tobi kept on crying, even though I was already making my way over.

Once I kneeled down in front of him, he looked at me with those tears stained eyes of his; and stopped crying.

Well, one eye that is...the other one was covered up with the mask.

I guess he wanted to hear what I had to say.

"What's the matter, Tobi?" I asked softly.

Tobi sniffed, a few droplets of tears slipping down his cheek – mask, sorry – and hitting the floor.

"Tobi's...teeth hurt!" Tobi wailed, crying once again.

I sighed.

"Please open your mouth for me to see what's wrong with your teeth." I ordered.

Tobi stopped crying so suddenly, and slowly put his head to the right.

"What...?" He asked.

"Please take your mask off so that I can see what tooth problems you have." I said.

Tobi nodded slowly, and took his mask off.

He had a very cute face, like...cute.

I don't know if this was a genjutsu or not, but oh well.

"Tobi, now open your mouth." I instructed.

Tobi opened his mouth as I said, as I looked in.

I didn't touch him or anything, I just peered in; and saw his teeth were all stained with black.

Tobi closed his mouth.

"What teeth problem do Tobi have?" Tobi asked, eager to know what problem he had.

I sighed, then lifted myself up.

"Tobi...I'm afraid to say this; in case you kill me; that you've got...a tooth decay."


	7. Chapter 6

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 6

"Tobi...you've got a tooth decay." I broke the news to him.

He blinked a couple of times, his cute face's expression puzzled.

"Tobi wants to know what a tooth decay is." Tobi sucked his finger.

"Um...a tooth decay...it's, like a cavity sort of thing, when your teeth get covered in this...thing...that eats your tooth away...something like that." I explained.

It was sort of hard to explain a tooth decay, but oh well.

"Does a tooth decay hurt Tobi?" Tobi asked, taking his finger out of his mouth.

I shrugged.

"I think so." I answered.

Everything was silent, and then he started bawling like a 2 year old.

"WWAAAAAHHHHHH~~~~~!" Tobi screamed.

I covered my ears.

I swear, this is probably the 100th time that my ears bled this week...maybe day, I don't know.

I don't keep track of time.

Anyhow, Deidara was sneakily going behind Tobi, one of his clay birds flying off his hand, and softly landing onto Tobi's head.

"Art...is an explosion!" Deidara said cheekily.

The nicely placed clay bird on top of Tobi's head went something like "BOOM!" and everything was covered in smoke.

The explosion put up so much dust that we couldn't see anything.

"GAH! What's with this *pickling* *pickle* dust?" Hidan growled, obviously not happy about anything right now.

I swear; this might be the weirdest day of his life.

Hidan's; not mine.

First, we found out that he hid his "Jashinist" magazine in the couch, and that it was a very "Jashinist" magazine; second, he really likes that magazine; for all we know, why does he like it?

The title is...urgh.

Why would he even have that anyway?

Anyhow, Tobi kept on bawling, and the dust cleared, and what we saw was...Deidara dead on the ground.

Well, not exactly dead, half dead.

He had bruises all over his body, and bite marks everywhere.

Everyone was like, (-.-)...

What happened?

Did Tobi beat him up?

If he did, THUMBS UP FOR TOBI!

Tobi must have been mad at Deidara for trying to blow him up...

"Tobi!" I called, running to him and patting him on his head.

He had his mask back on, this time the colour of blue.

Hm...does his mask change every time he does this kind of stuff...?

"Tobi!" I repeated, hitting his head harder.

Tobi kept on bawling, then 1 hand hit my chin, as Tobi stood up, and started running around, breaking EVERY SINGLE THING AROUND.

Since we just moved into the cave, we had things scattered all around the place; which is B-A-D.

BAD.

Tobi stared destroying everything in the cave, tumbling, tripping, throwing, killing, hitting, biting, kicking, destroying, scratching, punching, head butting, flinging, clomping, almost everything you can think of.

He even knocked out Kakuzu and Hidan.

This could get bad – very bad.


	8. Chapter 7

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 7

The Akatsuki and I, excluding Hidan and Kakuzu, since they got K.O'd by Tobi, watched with huge eyes and hanging mouths as Tobi destroyed every single thing he saw or touched.

This was definitely going to take millions out of Kakuzu's wallet; not that we've already taken about $10 million while Tobi was buying the candy store...

Anyhow, we watched in horror as Tobi destroyed the whole base.

"TOBI!" Kisame shouted; flames were burning in his eyes.

Tobi stopped. And jerked around to stare at Kisame.

"Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy... Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy...Tobi is a good boy..." Tobi chanted, his voice hoarse and dry.

Everyone had faces like this: O.O...

Tobi's stupid and annoying, but cute.

Now he's cute no more.

He's now called...PSYCHO.

Right after he finished up in chanting, he went right back to destroying everything.

But instead of destroying objects, he destroyed...Kisame?

Because in a flash, I saw a huge tank being brought in, and Kisame thrown in it, with a huge lid put over the top.

Hm...how wonderful...now when's he going to die?

Then Tobi started chanting some random speak or language, and Kisame was reduced to bubbles.

What, now?

Is he a mermaid?

Ahaha, I never knew Kisame was a female fish! /

Not to mention, a mermaid!

So he hid his identity all this time, so that he could seduce Itachi and BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

So I basically started laughing hysterically, rolling on the ground, holding my stomach.

Once I had stopped laughing, I sat on the ground, wiping away the tears from my eyes.

Ah – gosh.

That was so funny I was crying.

Everyone was silent, all their eyes on me.

"What?" I snapped "Is there something wrong with me or something?"

They shook their heads.

Pain opened his mouth to say something, but was drowned out by a humungous...BOOM.

The ground shook, and the darkness that consumed us before was lifted off our heads.

Darkness no more, I have to put it.

Everybody looked up; I think the bubbles did as well.

I thought Kisame was dead?

Anyhow, light filtered through the cave, then a huge shadow loomed over us.

Our eyes widened and our mouths dropped open.

There, looming over us, was a huge, gigantic – I tell you, GIGANTIC – Tobi.


	9. Chapter 8

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 8

Ok, so last time we left off, a huge, gigantic Tobi was looming over us, after ripping the roof of the cave off our heads.

Everyone had hanging mouths, huge eyes, and were all looking at that Tobi.

It took a step forward, and its foot crashed down onto the things in the cave, crushing them to little smithereens.

"OMG! !" Everyone screamed.

I screamed that too, but what the hell.

We started to run away, when we heard a squeak.

We stopped in our tracks, and slowly turn our heads to see where the squeak came from.

The huge gigantic Tobi was still looming over us, its masked face was pink with swirly red.

Another squeak was heard, and another, and another, until our ears bled from hearing too much squeaks.

"ELLO! TOBI IS BACK FROM HAVING A FUN TIME IN TOBILAND!" A familiar high voice screamed.

It rang through our ears, and immediately, our heads snapped up.

We saw a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little figure standing on top of the huge Tobi.

It had a white mask, with tinted pink cheeks that you couldn't even see, but I could see it.

It contrasted against white, so yeah.

"...ACK! BLEH! ACK!" It laughed...then it began to cough...heavily.

It sounded so much like Tobi, I don't know how much.

'IT' kept on coughing, like madly, until it coughed out something huge and big, something that Deidara would cough out, like some explosive thing, that went, you know, BOOM.

Ahaha, I don't feel like laughing.

After hearing 'IT'S' laughing, I feel like going through rehab or something.

It was loud, high pitched and squeaky.

Only sentence to describe it is...When someone scratches the blackboard with something sharp and it makes the screechy noise, that's what it sounded like.

Ok, back to the story.

So 'IT' coughed something out, a huge thing.

It was sort of a huge circular thing...A *PICKLING* CIRCULAR BALL!

NO!

I CAN'T DIE HERE!

IT'S...IT'S...PINK AND GOT STUFF STICKING OUT OF IT!

I wonder what the pink is from though...?

Even so...NO! I CAN'T DIE!

So the Akatsuki members and I all started running all around the place, panicking because we were about to die...by 'IT', who we assumed was Tobi.

I should be ashamed, or something.

Dying by 'IT'...or Tobi.

By 'IT' or TOBI!

BY 'IT' OR TOBI!

Wow.

That must be a huge achievement for Tobi or 'IT' to actually kill someone, though 'IT'/he is a goofball.

Anyhow, the huge thing 'IT'/he coughed up *cough* pink *cough* ball *cough* thing, it bounced off the huge Tobi and went towards us, rolling down fast.

I tell you fast – very fast – as fast as when Itachi's going to kill something with full power – that fast.

"OH *PICKLE!*" Hidan shouted.

We started running around screaming, until we found the entrance.

Since Pain was in the way of the entrance, we tried to push past him but he said Konan had to go first.

I mean...WTF?

WE'RE DYING AND HE SAYS, "KONAN HAS TO GO FIRST!"

WTF!

*PICKLING* BASTARD OF A LEADER!

So we tried to find Konan, but she was nowhere to be seen.

And Pain kept blocking our way until 'HIS' precious Konan was found.

And thus, the other Akatsuki members and I were all trapped inside, about to get squashed to smithereens with that huge pink ball with sticky out things.


	10. Chapter 9

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 9

"OH *PICKLE!*" I shouted, eyes huge as plates.

"HEY! AND YOU ACCUSE ME OF SWEARING TOO MUCH!" Hidan randomly shouted.

I whipped around to face him, and glared.

He glared back.

In the next few minutes, we glared at each other with full intensity, until Hidan blinked.

"HA! YOU LOST!" I shouted, giving a victory dance.

"HEY! THAT WASN'T FAIR! I NOW NEED TO SACRIFICE MYSELF AGAIN FOR JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan yelled.

I poke my tongue out at him.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT! YOU NEED TO DIE SOMETIME!" I added "YOU JUST _**HAD**_TO BE JASHIN'S NUMBER ONE FOLLOWER! THAT JUST PROVES HOW GAY YOU ARE!"

Hidan's face went pale, then red, and his mouth twitched.

"What did you say about the *pickling* evil awesome lord Jashin-sama?" He asked; his voice about to turn venomous any second.

I shrugged.

"Well...let's see...HE IS SUCH A GAY LORD TO MAKE HIS FOLLOWERS KILL THEMSELVES, EXCLUDING YOU..." I said the last sentence loudly, so that everyone could hear.

His veins popped.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. SAY. YOU. *PICKLING*. *PICKLE!*" He shouted, cracking his knuckles.

I stared down at his knuckles.

"You know, you don't need to crack your knuckles. Jashin-sama says so." I said, shrugging.

Hidan stopped cracking his knuckles.

"Really?" He asked.

I nodded.

Pfft.

He doesn't even know I'm lying.

Big idiot.

He looked up to the sky, then started chanting some random speech of some random language which I think was called Jashinese.

"Hey! Cut it out alread—" I got cut off by him exploding his head off.

"WHAT THE HELL? JASHIN-SAMA SAYS YOU LIED!" He yelled, eyes firing up.

OH CRAP!

HOW THE HELL DID HE FIND OUT? (From Jashin-sama XD)

"Oh...crap..." I muttered, smiling and laughing nervously; I scratched the back of my head.

"YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. BE. SACRIFICED. TO. JASHIN. SAMA. TODAY. YOU. *PICKLE*." Hidan separated every word to make it sound menacing.

I poke my tongue out at him again, and he growled, taking out his long scythe.

"DIE!" He yelled, jumped towards me.

I pretended to jump back, and succeeded.

"DIE-!" Hidan was in the middle of yelling, yet he got cut off.

Typical fellow.

Konan had a firm grip on his back collar, holding him back.

I never knew Pain's girlfriend was so strong!

So everyone was all like this: O.O when Konan appeared.

Well, except for Pain.

What he was like was... "KONAN!"  
Literally, Konan threw Hidan at Pain, with an angry face.

Hidan hit Pain, and they tumbled over to the ground.

That scene was just funny.

I tried to hold back a grin but it sort of...made me grin...then I burst out laughing.

"You 2!" Konan said furiously.

I stopped laughing, and looked at Konan.

Was she talking about me?

"Hidan! Natsumi!" She shouted.

"What?" Hidan asked, irritated.

"You don't fight when a huge big ball sort of thing is coming our way!" She scolded.

Oh.

Now I feel like a little kid because Konan is scolding me...

"But K—" I started.

She cut me off, "NO BUTS!"

I frowned.

*THUMP*...*THUMP*...*THUMP*...*THUMP*...*THUMP*...

There was a huge sound, very near us.

Then a shadow over took the area, a circle shaped shadow.

I looked up, and scrambled to the door.

"PAIN! LET ME THE HELL THROUGH!" I yelled, shoving and pushing Pain.

"No!" He protested, "Konan goes first!"

Then someone suddenly elbowed me in the back and sent me to head butt Pain, sending him to go through the door, and hit the wall opposite the door he broke down.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? IT WAS UNCALLED!" I yelled, furious.

I turn around, and came face to face with Hidan.

I growled, "It's you."

He smirked, "Well, you had it coming for lying about Jashin-sama. What an idiotic *pickle* for not noticing my presence!"

I grinned evilly, "You mean that was just something...called revenge?"

He shrugged, "Guess so."

I've got the perfect plan to make him suffer...since he's immortal.

I quickly run to Konan and drag her out of the place, and drag the other members as well, and I last drag Hidan outside.

I stopped dragging Hidan until he was right in front of the door, then I ran in front of him, kicking him inside.

I spotted a perfectly fine door beside the one which got destroyed.

What a coincidence!

I grab the door and stuff it into place, before Hidan got out.

I did a jutsu, which sealed the door making it basically impossible to open.

I laughed, looking at my masterpiece.

Well, not exactly a masterpiece...more like...something.

"ARRGHH! YOU *PICKLE!* I'M GOING TO *PICKLING* SACRIFICE YOU TO *PICKLING* JASHIN-SAMA! *PICKLING* GET READY!" Hidan yelled.

My, my, my...

"My...my...my...I never knew you were that feisty." I snickered.

From what I heard, something large hit the door, then Hidan growled, and then there was a big, *BABOOOMMMMM*

It was silent after.

"...what was that?" Konan asked.

"It was most likely the pink blob thingo." Pain said.

I chuckled, "It'd be weird if he didn't survive that."

I did the jutsu to undo the jutsu that I did on the door, and it fell open.

The things that fell out of the other side were all pink.

The most hated colour of all.

PINK!

"It's...it's...it's..." Then I fainted at the sight of pink.

No, sorry.

In reality, I was destroying the pink stuff, running to the other side of the door, and chucking them randomly to some place.

"PINK!" I screamed.

I threw the stuff in every direction possible, trying to get rid of it as fast as I could.

"TOBI'S SORRY!" A high pitched voice squeaked.

"...Tobi?" I slowly turn around, and came face to face with Tobi.

"TOBI!" I yelled, pointing at the pink...stuff.

Tobi took one glance at them, then started to cry, wailing like there was no tomorrow.

"...what's the meaning of this?" I asked.

Tobi looked up, tears still spilling from his eyes.

"Tobi...Tobi...Tobi...Tobi coughed up something..." Tobi said quietly.

Then one hand came out of the ground and grabbed my ankle.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" I shrieked.


	11. Chapter 10

::::: If Tobi were to get a tooth decay ::::: Chapter 10

"EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!" I shrieked.

"! YOU *PICKLE*! I NEVER KNEW YOU'D GET *PICKING* SCARED!" An oh-so familiar person shouted.

My eye twitched.

Did I just hear that voice?

DID I JUST HEAR _**THAT **_VOICE?

"HIDAN!" I yelled, furious.

He let go of my ankle and dug himself out of the pink stuff.

I glared, "Whadda ya do that for?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What did I *picking* do that for? Well, *pickle*...YOU'RE EASY TO SCARE!"

I glared even more.

Then that familiar orange masked kid appeared between us, "TOBI SAID STOP IT!"

I glanced at Tobi, and realized that his mask wasn't pink anymore.

There wasn't even an inch of pink, spotless of pink.

"Tobi...?" I said slowly, "Are you sure you aren't on a high?"

He shook his head, "TOBI ISN'T ON A HIGH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI WOULDN'T GO ON A HIGH!"

Since I was stupid and gullible, I believed him, "Aw...I'm sorry I accused you, Tobi. Would you like some more candy?"

The other Akatsuki member's eyes widened.

"NO!" They screamed, jumping towards Tobi and I.

"Huh?" I turned to face them, and my eyes widened, "*PICKLE!*"

They all clomped onto me and Tobi, squashing us to the pink covered ground.

"NO!" They screamed yet again.

I sighed.

Well, tried to sigh, but since my lungs were being squashed to bits by the Akatsuki members, I could barely breath.

But despite being the awesome ninja I was, I actually could manage to breathe somehow.

The only members who weren't on me and Tobi were Itachi and Kakuzu.

Kakuzu was too busy counting his money, and Itachi was just watching us with a slight smirk.

I also saw a fish tank next to Itachi.

There were no bubbles, nothing.

Meaning no Kisame.

Meaning that there was a possibility that Kisame was either dead, or is just somewhere.

"HEADS UP!" A loud voice boomed.

My head jerked up, and my mouth dropped open.

Up in the sky, was Kisame, all blue finned, in his normal body, wearing a black cloak.

He seemed to be a large distance away, but seemed to get closer every second.

"CRAP!" I shouted.

"TOBI'S GONNA DIE!" Tobi wailed, flapping his arms around like crazy.

"What? What of it, un? I thought us Akatsuki members weren't the type to be scared to die, un." A Deidara like voice spoke above me.

"Huh?" I turned my head over to that voice, and saw a Blondie.

"Hiya, un." He greeted.

My eyes killed from the vision I saw.

Guess what I saw through them?

Well, what I saw was, was that Deidara, he was wearing a pink fluffy tutu.

Then I burst out laughing, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~~! I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE A FEMALE IN DISGUISE!"

"HEY! I NEVER WAS, UN!" Deidara screamed, furious.

"PREPARE TO GET SQUASHED!" A voice shouted.

What's with people these days?

I saw Deidara get something out of his tutu pocket, and hand it to Tobi.

*BAM!*

He and I were squashed, sinking into the pink thingies that Tobi coughed out.

"Kisame...I swear...one day...I'll squash _**YOU **_to little smithereens..." I muttered.

As I got squashed by his weight, I thought up of a plan...

The plan was called, "Make Kisame a cannibal..."

For the next few weeks, all the members of Akatsuki had to clean up the pink thingo thingies.

It was quite a mess, actually.

But once we got it all scooped up and burned, everything was fine.

What was even weirder was that when we cleaned the pink stuff, everything buried or destroyed by Tobi was once again alive and well, no dead and buried.

Hm...how weird.

The cave also had a...pink shine to it...

Ok, so after we cleaned up the whole place, we sat down to eat dinner.

Sasori didn't eat, because he didn't need to, but he joined us anyway.

Kisame was all happy and stuff, talking to Itachi while he didn't talk back.

OK!

Plan, "Make Kisame a cannibal" in progress!

I quickly took out a shark, and did a jutsu, making it look like a cookie.

I handed it to Kisame when he stopped talking.

"Here. This is my thanks to you for cleaning up the area." I said innocently.

"Oh! Thanks." He took the cookie, and then nearly took a bite out of it before looking back at me again.

"Hey...why doesn't everyone else have one? They helped too." Kisame said.

"They got theirs before." I lied.

Kisame nodded, then took a bite.

He nodded again, and ate the whole thing.

I burst out laughing, "Make Kisame a cannibal" achieved!

"Huh? What's so funny?" Kisame asked, licking his fingers.

I laughed even more, tears escaping my eyes since it was so funny, "YOU ATE A SHARK!"

His eyes widened, then his jaw dropped, then he tried to vomit the stuff back out.

Apparently he failed, because it was already digested into his system.

I stopped laughing and wiped away the tears from my eyes.

"I never knew you were a cannibal, Kisame..." I tried to hold back more laughter.

He glared at me, eyes furious.

This doesn't seem like a good sign.

He then grinned, taking out something pink.

It was a pink wig, and my eyes widened.

He held it up, dangling it in my face.

"Ooh~~! Don't you just _**LOVE**_ pink?" Kisame looked like he was haunting me, it was kind of freaky.

"PAEDOPHILE!" I screamed, scrambling away behind Tobi.

Everyone laughed, and Kisame twitched.

He clutched onto the pink wig, "Paedophile? Do you even know how old I am?"

I nodded, "502371422 years."

Kisame nodded, "Of course you would know."

"I'M ONLY 17! OMG, YOU'RE LIKE MILLIONS OF YEARS OLDER THAN ME! THAT JUST PROVES HOW MUCH OF A PAEDOPHILE YOU ARE!" I shouted.

Tobi patted my head, "There, there. Tobi's here."

I pouted, "Ah. That's right. Says the person who went on a high, then went on a rampage. Says the person who destroyed the base and put it back together again. Says the person who made Kakuzu spend about $10 million on candy."

I saw Kakuzu's eyes turn huge, "YOU STOLE MY MONEY?"

Tobi and I gulped.

"I knew this was coming...whoops...I slipped out." So Tobi and I ran for our lives, out into the world, where Kakuzu kept on chasing us.

Believe me, he never stopped.

So we didn't stop.

I wonder how much money Kakuzu has anyway, from all those bounties and all?

I wonder...maybe we could ask Itachi to steal it again?

That wouldn't hurt...now, would it?

The End


End file.
